I will explain why calling a bullied kid victim is wrong, and how it doesn’t help that kid dealing with the issue of bullying. It’s very important to understand the negative impact of the word victim on a child, and what you can do to change that. In order to make a child bullyproof, stop calling a bullied child VICTIM since the language we use to address an issue or an individual makes a huge difference and impact. 

When dealing with a bullied Child, we should use the word VICTOR or survivor. When we call them victim it means we are accepting that child’s circumstances. The word victim robs a bullied child of their ability to fight back. It makes them feel that they are not capable of overcoming the situation. The situation of being bullied day in and day out.

The word victim plays a huge part in bringing down their Self-esteem and Confidence. The child does not see a way out, and starts accepting a wrong reality that they will be forever bullied. At times I have seen some kids using the word victim to generate and attract sympathy for them, and that is true, because in reality, what is a victim looking for? A victim is looking for attention, sympathy and at times, pity from others.

On the other hand a VICTOR is looking for ways to overcome the obstacles and any roadblocks in the way. The word VICTOR gives this child, a hope, this light at the end of the tunnel to take action against being bullied. VICTOR is looking for the prize……. VICTORY.

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If you are overprotective, your child may never learn how to be assertive and state his/her boundaries and as a result become a soft target for Bullying.

Parenting that includes clear rules about behaviour while being supportive and emotionally warm is most likely to prevent victimization.

Children need guidance, they need boundaries, they need to know the difference between Right and Wrong.

Give your child breathing space. Allow him to experience life and conflicts so he can learn how to deal with them.

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We have to work with our children who might be Bullies or Bullied, and boost their confidence, self-esteem. At the same time we are responsible for teaching them to Respect their friends and other students specially if we live in a multi cultural society. Every culture or race has their own customs and sometimes certain clothes they wear.

I am glad to see what this mom did. She took matters in her own hands when her own daughter started bullying other kids in her school.

Here is the link to the full story http://wftc.membercenter.worldnow.com/story/22297965/utah-mom-makes-bully-daughter-wear-thrift-store-clothes

What are your thoughts?

Please share…..

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Are you one of those adults? I don’t think for a second that any child has to go through any kind of Bullying. IT IS NOT A PART OF GROWING UP. Why a kid has to go through it?

The adults who think that way,  just don’t want to deal with this problem. By doing this, they are becoming a part of this serious problem. Don’t you see so many kids committing suicides because they didn’t get the help from adults around them? The adults who thought Bullying was not a big issue and those kids would just be fine.

In order to put a STOP to this epidemic, we all need to get together and squash it. It’s refreshing and great to see that more and more kids are taking this matter into their own hands and standing up against Bullying. Here is one example, one of my coachees from South Carolina shared something invaluable with me and I thought it would be helpful to other kids too. So here it is. In her own words (she is just 9 years old)…..

“ Thoughts on Bullying

Big Dog asked me to share my thoughts with you on bullying. I will talk about three things with you: my experiences, thoughts, and solutions.

Over the years, I have had a lot of experiences on bullying because of my weight, personality, and much more. But I learned to stand up for myself, or just ignore the person and walk away. When I say “stand up for myself”, I don’t mean involving violence. I mean that you would walk up to the person and say’ “Hey, you know what ________, (put the bully’s name) I’m tired of you calling me names and talking about me behind my back. I’ve had enough. I don’t appreciate the way you treat me. I’ve asked you nicely, but now, if you don’t stop, I’m going to tell an adult.”  Of course, you can say anything you want, I’m just giving you a general idea.

I also think that bullying is just when a person (or people) are mean to you more than one time, it’s because they’re jealous of you. If you are having problems at school, you should probably go to an adult and talk with them about your issues or problems.

If you have any questions for me, please feel free to e-mail Faisal (faisal@bothsidesofbullying.com), and I will get back to you as soon as possible. I think what Faisal is doing is a great idea, and I would love to have him come to my school. He just might even visit yours! Have a great day!

Montanna M. “

She is also co-authoring a book about Bullying. WOW Isn’t that great, coming from a 9 years old?

What you think? Please feel free to share so more kids can get empowered from it.

Here is what you can do to help me to Put a stop to Bullying. Sign up to receive useful info regarding Anti-Bullying. http://bothsidesofbullying.com/join-the-great-cause/

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Now I don’t know the extent of bullying her daughter received or what kind of help she got from the school? but in my opinion it’s alarming. What if other parents decide to do the same thing? Would I have to quit my job and stay at my daughters’ school, in the future? Is this mom just paranoid? Should she just home school her child?

What are your thoughts?

Feel free to share the post.

Here is the link to the article……

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/05/15/jill_trahanhardy_and_daughter.html

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We talked about my unusual and thought provoking approach to Anti-Bullying and How I believe Communication within the families could generate Bullies and Victims.
You can listen to the recording of this very informative Interview here…

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/eftradio/2013/05/13/bullying-listening-to-the-child-and-speaking-to-the-parents

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I don’t know how serious these girls were but this is a horrible incident nevertheless. These girls could be Bullies or Victims, at the same time. They are in need of some serious help asap.

Here is the original news. Must watch and Share!

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/04/25/n-j-girls-12-could-face-charges-after-threatening-to-murder-classmates-in-video/?hpt=ju_bn4

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rather than “Short Term Pain”, as my mentor Dov Baron taught me.

Sadly most of us don’t know that  ”Short Term Gain=Long Term Pain” and “Short Term Pain=Long Term Gain”.

I belive that Bullies operate in the same way. They love to get Short Term Gain (Attention) by Bullying others but they forget the pain (suffering themselves), they will receive in the long run.
I ask the Victims. What if you stand up and speak out against Bullies? I know how uncomfortable it may get but this Pain is Short Term and the benefits in the Long Term, are PHENOMENAL. Imagine living a life where you control your life. You are confident. You own your voice. You stand tall and are not afraid,when faced with a Bully.

What do you think? Please share……

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Kids start bullying by pushing, shoving, name calling etc. Teenage bullies get more physical. They get involved in fights, beat up other kids and start making gangs to get more attention.

When the same bullies are not helped and they become adults, things can get really ugly. Some of them take aggression into their workplaces and others could become robbers, rapists or murderer.

This reminds us of how important it is to not only help victims but also the bullies because if they are not helped and rehabilitated, they will just find new victims.

What are your thoughts?

Feel free to share……

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